Lowkey Grew Apart

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INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon beautiful human! I hope you are having a wonderful day! I am currently on hold with financial aid services, which is every college student’s nightmare! Trying to get things sorted out for next semester is grueling, but worth every ounce of frustration. Despite the pandemic, I am beginning to appreciate life more and I feel energized to pursue my goals. I am so happy that during this time of self-quarantine that Issa Rae and Prentice Penny gifted us with a season 4 of the hit series Insecure.

ISSA DEE, THE WOMAN WITH A MILLION DOLLAR SMILE AND A HEART OF GOLD

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This is Issa. Issa is an optimistic hardworker, with a stellar sense of humor and loving spirit. Her heart is pure as can be and she is determined to achieve her dreams. She is beginning to find her footing as a modern Black woman, who is not super confident, but learning to embrace who she truly is. Issa loves to create things and she has a vivid imagination, which can materialize into incredible things, such as the Block Party in Inglewood that she conceived of. Issa is figuring things out day by day, including friendships, romantic relationships, career path and who she is. Issa was in a close romantic relationship with Lawrence for a couple of years. Somewhere along the line, the love began to diminish. They had hit a rut in their relationship. Lawrence looked to Issa as the breadwinner, while he lounged around at home. Lawrence’s unambitious attitude repeled Issa, as she felt the stagnation of the relationship. That is when Daniel came in. Daniel was an old friend of Issa, who she had a crush on for a very long time, but it never seemed to pan out. During an encounter in the studio, Issa cheats on Lawrence with Daniel. This soon blows up into Lawrence finding out and leaving Issa. Their relationship became very on-and-off until they finally cut ties and then rekindled their friendship. Awkward right? Well, it makes sense because life can be… awkward. Issa soon moves onto the Southern charmed Nathan, who is everything and more. He is very handsome, easy-going and fun to be around. Everything was coming up roses, until Nathan ghosted Issa for days, which put her in a downward spiral. She loved Nathan, but he hurt her deeply. She soon forgave him and let him know that she needs time to recover. She later rekindles her relationship with Nathan. This background of Issa’s history serves as why Molly behaves the way she does toward Issa. Now, before we get into why their friendship is breaking down, let’s assess Molly.

MOLLY CARTER, THE WOMAN WHO CAN DO IT ALL AND CAN HAVE IT ALL

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This is Molly Carter. Molly is a responsible, intelligent, strong-willed, passionate woman who is skeptical of the good in the world. She is supportive and very attentive to the details. Molly can be quite rigid at times, but Issa helps her to loosen up. Molly gives her all to her career. She is a very hard worker and does not play about misogyny or sexism in the workplace. She also knows in predominately white settings, she is unable to bring his full self to the work environment, hence her having a conversation with “DaDa” about being “less on” (less Black)” in the workplace. Molly can get along with anybody no matter race, color, sex, creed, etc. She has a warm personality and she is very funny. Issa and Molly have magnetic chemistry, since they can be each other’s rock. Molly, however, is quite complex because her romantic relationships tend to be a bit complicated. The first guy she was interested in was a blue collar worker, who also happened to have an experience with another man in college. Both of these things turned Molly off. She believed that she deserves someone more accomplished and “not gay”. Ironically, he wasn’t gay and he was actually really nice to Molly. But, this is a pattern with Molly. Then, there was Dro. I DID NOT TRUST DRO. Dro is a very handsome, humorous guy that has known Molly since childhood. Molly always felt safe and comfortable with Dro. It was as if she could be herself around him. Authentically and unapologetically Molly. However, Dro had a wife. Molly was conflicted, but tried to get over it. Dro threw a curveball when he told Molly that him and his wife have an open marriage. Meaning that they are allowed to have other sexual partners outside of the marriage, as long as they tell one another and are upfront about it. I wish Molly did not go for it, but she did sleep with Dro. She expected Dro to be “her man”, but he isn’t her man. Molly and Dro’s relationship fizzled out very quickly and she found refuge in Andrew aka “Asian Bae”. Andrew is kindhearted, loving, supportive and he wants to be with Molly, but Molly is resistant and she likes things to be on her terms. She bails on him and puts work before him, but is hurt when Andrew decides to make his own plans. Unfortunately, it is because Molly wants to lead the relationship instead of being in cooperation with Andrew. Now, that was a little background of Molly. So, if you put Molly and Issa in a blender, you get a mix of complications, insecurities, love woes and optimism. Both women are incredible women, who are good people.

AT MY EVENT? REALLY? THIS IS WHAT WE DOIN’? OKAY. 

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All of their internal issues came crashing down the night of Issa’s block party. There had already been tension, since there was dissociation and miscommunication on both ends. Issa did not prioritize a candid conversation with Molly. Molly did not communicate her need to smooth things over with Issa. Both friends were not being vocal and honest with one another. Then, the rift became apparent to their mutual friends, Kelli and Tiffany. Whether it was Issa’s jokes that did not land with Molly or Molly’s microaggressions toward Issa’s absence due to her planning the block party, the both of them were not effectively communicating. Communication requires two people to listen, understand and respect one another’s perspective, viewpoint, outlook or circumstance. Issa asked Kelli about Molly, and Molly asked Tiffany about Issa. I hate asking other people about someone you are interested in, since it does not hold the same weight. If I have Jill’s number, and I miss her, why would I call Carly to see if Jill is okay? I can ask Jill directly!  I can talk to my friend and hear her voice, her tone, her word choices, read her body language and eye contact. All of these things I cannot receive from Carly, because she is not Jill! Tiffany is not Issa and Kelli is not Molly. Issa and Molly need to talk to one another. Their dynamic took a sudden curve, when Molly declined Issa’s request to ask Andrew (since Andrew has professional music connections) about getting Vince Staples as a headliner for her block party, since her previous headliner cancelled. Molly created a rule that she does not want her relationship and friendship to interfere with one another, but I think that Molly used this tactic to further distance herself from Issa. In Molly’s point of view, Issa is irresponsible, tactless and immature. In Issa’s point of view, Molly is bitter, reluctant to be happy and a bit cold. You could see the hurt on Issa’s face when her best friend denied her the opportunity to get a headliner for her block party. Her best friend. Someone who she looks to for guidance, comfort and support. In Molly’s mind, “Issa always needs help. Issa’s life is a mess”. But, maybe Molly projects messiness onto Issa’s life, because her life is and she doesn’t want to admit that she is just as complicated as Issa. Molly is pleasantly surprised at how professional and detailed that the block party is. (Wow, the best friend is “surprised” that their best friends’ event is organized? Like she couldn’t do it. Maybe Molly wants Issa to need her and when she doesn’t, she feels powerless.) Issa actually gets Vince Staples to be her headliner, but we (the audience) do not know how, until later. Andrew inadvertently reveals to Molly that he got Vince Staples to headline for Issa. Molly is infuriated and confronts Issa in front of everyone. She asks Issa did she ask Nathan to ask Andrew to secure Vince Staples as her headliner. Complicated right? I know! Issa responds that she did ask Nathan for help, because Molly did not want to help her. Molly goes onto tell Issa how selfish, messy and manipulative she is. She labels Issa as a user of people, who only sees what folks can do for her opposed to people with lives. Issa responds that she does not use people and she wanted a simple favor from Molly. Molly then gets in Issa’s face to tell her, “You are the same selfish bitch”. Issa is angered and the mutual friends break them up. Unfortunately, a shooting at the block party, which causes everyone to run. Classic block parties LOL. As Issa and Molly split up, I am saddened to know that their friendship will never be the same. Their frustrations with one another came boiling to an end at the block party. As I am reimagining the unfolding of it all, I believe that they grew apart. As Issa advances, Molly secretly resents her. Molly needs Issa to need her. But, if Issa does not need her, what can Molly do for Issa? Or, is Issa a user, who seeks to reap the benefits from people? Do you think she chooses to be messy? Or does Molly project that because of her internal messiness? Let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate you all God bless you all! Check out the dynamics of Molly and Issa’s friendship. I will let you judge how do they interact. Are they both guilty?

A POEM FROM A FRIEND

Hey guys, this is a poem by a dear friend of mine, Hannah, she is an amazing poet, writer, singer, and I hope you enjoy it!

Distance
You left me to think it all was a facade
Would you say all this lovey dovey shit to keep me in awe
To keep me all
To yourself
Left me to think it was you and no one else
I thought to myself
This is too good to be true
Don’t fall too quick
Cos this love language can get misconstrued
But soon enough allowed myself to let my walls down
What is love if you don’t give your all now?
What is love if you can’t take the ups and downs?
What is love if you can’t love me when I’m not around, see if I’m safe & sound or even reach out
You made me love with no limits
You lead me to believe that you need me and I need you
That we were both in it
To win it
This game called love
But here comes distance
you become distant
you start to have a change in heart
Compliments turn into contemplations of the pathways of our future
Whether to keep the “o” in our was your pending thought
And suddenly it feels like a alternate life that I’m living
Am I not worth loving ?
Am I not worth taking a risk for?
Am I not the you said you’d keep fighting for?
Anger and confusion fogs my brain
Only not to let me retain the thought
Of you giving up on us
Thus it crosses my mind
“ I need you , you need me”
Wasn’t that the type of love we were supposed to be ?
But I guess you never need me
A placeholder is what I was
The rehabilitation center
to love you where no one cared to look deep enough to love
If you truly love me you’d be there for me and wouldn’t dare to leave
You said
I was the best thing that happen to you
So why start treating your blessing as if it’s a curse
You make it seem like things can’t work
Cos truly you don’t want them to work
Cos truly you have already given up
Cos truly you only loved in the moment
And the thought of forever was a picture to paint to blind me from the truth
If you truly love me
and see me in your future
You wouldn’t even allow the thought of us growing apart to nurture
You said the way I make your heart skip a beat
you’d need a pace maker by the age of 20
What changed?
Distance?
Probably you didn’t love me as much as you claimed .
At the end of the day distance for me
will never cause my love to change.

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