Hues of Brown, Shades of Black, Hints of Beige

INTRODUCTION

Good evening to all of my beautiful readers. I am so happy to be back and give you guys some more content on this Friday night. First off, how are you feeling? How was your day? How was your week so far? I have been feeling pretty good lately, but my self-confidence has been through some ebbs and flows, but I am still striving for total self-love. I have been learning more about myself throughout this week. I learned that during the course of my life, I have yearned for structure because I thought that I was too disorganized and all over the place. However, I am trying to go with the flow, state how I feel and know when to leave a situation. I have a tendency to force things into my life that do not necessarily deserve my input. It is okay to leave things alone. It is okay to let things be. It is okay to let things go. I am giving you permission to let it go. Be free and walk with love, because the hurt and resentment can eat at you. The forgiveness is FOR YOU, so please gift yourself with internal healing.

 

QUARANTINE UPDATE

Now, onto the blogpost, I have been self-quarantining for a couple weeks now and I can honestly say: This isn’t awful, but I miss fresh air. I miss the sun. I miss feeling the wind on my cheeks. I miss walking and using my limbs to get from point A to point B. I miss watching social interactions on the streets, at City Hall and even at the train station. I miss making dates with friends to go to a movie, eat at a restaurant, walk through Penn’s Landing, and shopping through stores. I miss seeing a person’s facial expressions. The way their eyes crinkle when they laugh. The way their noses widen when they smile. I miss people. I am blessed enough to be with my family during this quarantine period, but I was looking forward to being more social and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It is difficult to grip with these feelings of isolation, but the blog really allows me to engage in self-expression, which is always healthy. I am doing more creative things like making mood boards, drawings, sketches, and attempting to materialize ideas LOL. But, yeah guys it has been tough and I know that your week may have been difficult as well, but I want you to know that you are so blessed and valued. I pray for all of the healthcare workers, sanitation workers, public service workers, essential workers and those who are self-quarantining. I pray for your mental health and emotional state during this pandemic because it can get overwhelming, but I have some tidbits for you all on “Noah’s Notes” to make this self-quarantine life a bit more enjoyable.

NOAH’s NOTES

Hey guys, so I am back with Noah’s Notes where I talk about side topics, personal life, tips, etc. and I hope that they can help you through your personal life.

  • My friend Adam commented on my Insta post about possible financial counseling. The ironic thing is that I have been struggling with overspending due to being self-quarantined and feeling the need to order everything online. So far, I have purchased birthday gifts, Paula’s Choice skincare, hair care products, shirts, PS4 charger, and a tongue scraper (I have a weird fear of bad breath). But, y’all I have been a mess as far as financially, but I am learning to be more frugal and not be so quick to waste money on things that may not even matter in the next few months. I dislike spending money on things that I do not need, but I do like nice things, so it is a slippery slope.

 

  • I have been listening to Yung Baby Tate, Brent Faiyaz, Doja Cat, PartyNextDoor, Jhene Aiko and Azealia Banks like clockwork. I love rap, but I really enjoy R&B as well. Once I like a song, I play the song down to the ground, because music can really influence my mood. I will drop some recommended songs below.
    • Feelings – Tinashe
    • hot girl bummer – blackbear
    • No Idea – Don Toliver
    • Say So – Doja Cat
    • We Got Love – Teyana Taylor
    • Slide (ft. YG) – H.E.R.
    • ROXANNE – Arizona Zervas
    • Fall – Davido
    • Solange (ft. Facer) – tobi lou
    • Start It Up – Alex Mali
    • The Big Big Beat – Azealia Banks
    • Nirvana – Stone
    • The Same (ft. Tobi Lou) – Ryan Destiny
    • Bacc Seat (feat. Ty Dolla $ign) – Roddy Ricch
    • What You Did (feat. Ella Mai) – Mahalia
    • Yummy (Summer Walker) – Justin Bieber
    • Touch It (Remix) [Feat. Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliot and Rah Digga] – Busta Rhymes
    • Yikes – Nicki Minaj
    • Whipped Cream – Ari Lennox
    • Ivy – Frank Ocean
    • Bussin – Tay Money
    • Pray for You – Jhene Aiko
    • Joanna – Jojo
    • Hot Girl (feat. Kari Faux) – Yung Baby Tate
    • Play Girl (UNIIQU3 REMIX) – Yung Baby Tate
    • THE NEWS – PARTYNEXTDOOR
    • TRAUMA – PARTYNEXTDOOR

 

  • If you are feeling limited, I want you to be able to expand your horizon. Whether it takes at home workout routines, practicing makeup looks, learning how to take photos, sketcing runway looks, creating a blog or website, painting, making playlists and/or beats and mixes, online shopping (but in moderation not like Noah lol), or if you are able to, try to do a movie night with your family, friend or significant other via Facetime if you can. Whatever brings you peace and makes you feel connected, do that. You deserve joy in any season of life.

 

  • Your thoughts are not FACTS! They are not factual and they are not unbiased, so please do not hold onto them strongly, because they come in and out of your mind. I am still learning this.

 

  • You cannot change anyone. You are in control of yourself, so your thoughts, actions, feelings, beliefs and morals are all that you have to worry about. Everything else is additional, but do not try to change anyone because the person has to be willing to be involved in their own healing.

 

  • You are beautiful and you do not even have to try. I love your smile. You have a laugh that is one of a kind. The tears that you have cried are not in vain. You are dedicated to becoming the best version of yourself. You are awesome. I love you.

 

  • Black people are so gorgeous. We are so incredible. Every shade. Every hue. Every hint and tone. We are wonderfully and fearfully made in God’s likeness and image, and to be quite honest, I am a fan of his work.

 

  • I love to see people. I love to observe people. We are all beautiful. Earlier today, I was watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is such an emotionally heartbreaking film. The protagonist, Quasimodo, believes what he has been told about himself. That he is an “ugly monster”, but this label was used to disempower him and downplay how amazing he was. The film speaks to the world’s way of classifying human beings based off looks. Listen guys, we can preserve our youth through multiple avenues, but looks truly fade. The heart, personality, attitude and acts of kindness is what someone will never forget. Beauty is not just one look. Beauty is not exclusive to only white women. Beauty is black. Beauty is brown. Beauty is wide noses. Beauty is thick eyebrows. Beauty is acne scars. Beauty is cellulite. Beauty is strong calves. Beauty is freckles. Beauty is moles. Beauty is any size. Beauty is strength. Beauty is vulnerability. Beauty is you.

 

  • Random Poem – untitled

The story of us began with the clap of thunder

I prayed for the day we would run into each other on a rainy day

I would have an excuse to catch eye contact for more than 5 seconds

I could see your hands and recognize what you have endured and carried

I could discover whether you were a worker bee or a beguiler

Break my heart into pieces or maybe help me mend my emotional injuries

I purposefully go left when you go left

Our eyes meet and… nothing

The volcano does not erupt

No water releases from the faucet

Your books drop, but so does the feeling for you that I held onto

I help you gather your things and you walk hurriedly walk away

But, I stay and mourn the idea of you

I thought I knew you by the tweets you posted

“He seems funny. Charismatic even. Scorpio maybe? Or Leo? Two fire signs? Could it work?”

Wishful thinking seems to be infused with my character

Maybe the fantasy of love keeps me alive to fight another day

The love of oneself is vital to survival

The love of oneself and another can be challenging

Am I ready to dedicate my life to self love for two?

I believe I am, but I want my reality to match up with my thoughts

Not the negative absorbed voices of the past, but the hopeful spirit of the present

That is a prayer that I will take up with God

My mission becomes clearer each day

I know what I must do to keep the pain away

 

  • Sidebar: Guys, I just peeped. All of my poems are about love LOL. I can’t help it. I love love. I love intimacy. I love closeness. I love inside jokes. I love physical comfort. I love positive affirmations. I love self-discovery. I love journaling. I love self-dates. I love French fries, oh God i am off track. In all seriousness, I truly want you all to love yourselves to the fullest because you are so worth it. Please let your partner be the cherry on top to your sundae. The sundae would be just as sweet, but the cherry adds an additonal flavor. So, don’t look for your cherry, let it come to you.

I love you all so much. Thank you for rocking with me after all of this time. I appreciate you. I value you. I honor you. God bless you and your loved ones. I cover you in a barrier of health, protection and safety.

-Love Noah aka The FashunFiend

 

 

 

 

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