Handling Discouragement & Self-Criticism

Summer Walker Press Image_Photo Credit ro.lexx.jpg

Good afternoon beautiful people! I hope you all are having an incredible weekend. I really wanted to pop up on you guys about handling discouragement and self-criticism. I have been struggling with this for the past couple of weeks because college life can be very overwhelming. I do believe that I considered it overwhelming because I was not giving myself any quality self-care time, which is very important to me. My life was just studying, sometimes not eating and not socializing with others as much as I would like to. In my college, the social environment is quite small, which is helpful but can be very isolating at times. I do love to have my alone-time, but I notice that when I am around others, I am forced to grow emotionally and mentally. I listen to other’s perspectives and realize that I don’t talk about my feelings a lot or my mental health. I hold it all in and choose to be unhappy. I say “choose” to be unhappy because happiness is a choice. You choose to accept and value your life despite its detours and hardships. You continue to put out effort and positivity even when it might not be reciprocated. This is what I have struggled with. I have to remind myself that one not-so-great test does not make me an awful student. I had such bad anxiety taking a math exam this past Thursday because I was so nervous about taking my biology exam the next day. I kept thinking that if I didn’t pass the math exam, I would be a failure and I would not be successful or be able to get into med school. For anyone who thinks that way, NO! Your path is YOUR PATH! God chose to put you in the position you are in right now for a reason. I pray to God on whether the sciences are in my path or I am destined for another purpose. I do not know what that purpose is but I know that I am meant to do something great as are all of you. I really want to get more tutoring for math and spend more time sharpening my weaknesses, but also appreciating my strengths, which brings me to self-criticism. Since I was in my pre-teen years, I became self-conscious due to my looks, acne, and absorbing the mean voices of classmates and peers. It was very hard for me growing up and also coming to terms with my sexuality made the battle even more intense. At that time, I felt very low and insignificant. It took a lot of prayer, love, journaling and self-love to realize that there was never anything wrong with me. I am exactly who God intended me to be. I have held back on so much in my life in fear of being chastised, gossiped about, or dismissed, but no more. I am giving all of me. No more over-apologizing. No more mumbling when I speak. No more anxiously walking down the halls. No more looking down. I will look people in the eyes. I will say what is on my mind. I will be honest with my opinions. I will not apologize for being human. I will walk with my head held high because I am a descendant of royalty. Kings and queens. So are you. So, I just wanted to finish this blogpost by saying that I am on the journey with you. It is not easy. You will have bad days. But they exist, so you can really appreciate the good days. Remember that rain is blessings in abundance. I pray for whatever you are going through. I see you. God sees you. You are significant. You are capable. You can do this. You will make it through. This is not the end. Don’t be so hard on yourself. These are things that I will say to myself much more often. Silence those negative voices. Internal negative voices are just the voices of other people who wanted to dim your light. They wanted to project their reality onto you. Don’t accept that. Let that go. Release that person who ignores you and makes you feel dumb, unimportant and worthless. You are not worthless! You came into this world with worth. Please remember that. I love you. I am with you. We are in this together. The best thing we can wear is confidence. Later guys!

 

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